"oh no you didn't"

so, i am all for women having dignity and being respected. girls should not be called bitches..the two aren't synonymous, but what if a girl is acting like a bitch? what if she's called one because she actually deserves it? no matter how idignant you may get about it, if you deserve it, there's not much you can say in your defense..i don't care what your momma told you "not to take from any man." the not-so-evident inequality that's often unaddressed by many females is that a lot of women (or girls, considering the level of maturity with which some act at times) think they can talk to a guy however their feelings dictate. some think they can tell a guy he's "not shit", he's this, he's that, fuck him and his mother and his friends, etc..and males can't say anything in defense without it being interpreted as disrespectful, no matter the degree to which it is true. well, i was raised to be respectful of women, and to be a gentleman--you know, holding doors, pulling out chairs, opening car doors, etc..BUT i was also raised to realize respect is earned, not given. you don't deserve to be treated like a queen if you're acting like a bitch. plain and simple. 

so, what entitles girls to think they can talk to a male however they want, but the second they're called "bitch," they go a trip about being disrespected? can't take what you dish out? sensitive? my proposed solution is that you watch what you say in the first place. personally, i don't agree with calling girls bitches collectively, but be reasonable. you can't have an allergic reaction to the word if everything you say warrants the label. treat people with same consideration you'd like to be treated with. you can't pop off at the mouth and honestly expect the person you're talking to, regardless of your gender or theirs, to sit there and take it. they'll call you on your bullshit if they're human...unless they're some kind of pushover. in a conversation discussing this very topic with cat, i said to her, "if you actin like a bitch, i'ma call you a bitch...if you got a problem with it, i'ma tell you why i think you're a bitch, and if you don't like it, eat a dick and don't fuck with me anymore..i don't lose sleep...why do girls think niggas care about that petty shit..?" this is admittedly an angry reaction to a conversation with a friend i had earlier in which she proceeded to tell me i "ain't shit" because i wouldn't take her side when she was acting immaturely; however, i don't think i was off in the premise of my statement. don't be mad if you get called something you deserve to be called. cat subsequently said, "some females think they can walk around and start shit, hitting niggas and threating the moms, neighbor, and dog, and thenn they're shocked when they get popped in they eye for acting stupid." although i'm not talking about hitting specifically, her statement still applies. just be sure you can take what you dish out..in general.

debunking the myths of "swag" and individuality

what is this "swag" everyone claims to have? why does every guy think he's ballin and every girl think she's "the female version of a hustla" or a model of some sort? all this unwarranted self-praise lately is really starting to get to me. i mean, it's great that people are self-confident--if you don't believe it, no one else will, but when does it become excessive and undeserved? what defines fly?

in a self-centered age in which even children think they're rock stars and everyone stresses their individuality no matter how many trends they follow, it's hard to for people to be honest with themselves about the degree to which they're just followers of leaders who aren't even worth being trend-setters. trends fade away; therefore, if you're gonna follow something, make sure it's something started by an ICON.  usually, such things are timeless and don't get outdated in the next few months. such things are also rarely related to fashion...if you're going to internalize something--really internalize it. don't make it your status on facebook. "nigga, i'm the shit, get the fuck up out my toilet." words of wisdom? is lil wayne wise? are there many aspects of his character you'd like to incorporate into your own? you're not thinking for yourself if you describe yourself using the words of others. one of the reasons i'm so keen on this is because i too am guilty of making lil wayne quotes my status on facebook. it's YOUR status. treat it as such.

with that said, to what extent is it true that all the people who claim to have swag "swagtastic?" if everyone has undeniable "swag" and if every group of girls is the "baddest" and every group of dudes the "flyest," who are the regular people? who are the people that really stand out in a good way? the truth is that they are one in the same. the people who have swag are usually not the ones who stress the fact that they do over and over. they usually don't have to say anything about it all. the people who stand out aren't the loudest ones. it's the people who convey an attitude of confidence and have their own sense of style. they don't dickride trends whether they're in the category of music, fashion, or slang. "liberate yourselves from mental slavery."

personally, i'm not egotistical. i consider myself a normal person with my own sense of style. i collect rare kicks and shop online and at stores that not everyone goes to because that's just what i like doing. i don't walk around stressing the fact that i'm so "swaggerific" because my shoes may be quickstrike release or virtually unattainable without a lot of effort. if i'm fly by a girl's or guy's standards, awesome, and if i'm not, that's ok too. i'm gonna wear the same shit regardless. i didn't start wearing skinny jeans because the world hopped on them--i wore them when people were laughing at me for them and still considered them "gay." i wear them because i'm skinny as shit, and i look awkward in bootcut or other types of jeans. i don't wear a kiffeyeh because lil wayne wore one in a video--i wear it because i support palestinian liberation. i don't collect shoes because i'm a hypebeast who wants to one-up everyone (though i do concede that i'm quick to point out how my shoes are different from another person's when asked or lumped in the same category)--i do it because i have a genuine appreciation for sneaker and skate culture. i read sneaker freaker more than the washington post. i've been that way since forever. maybe that makes me an elitist because i feel i've been into certain things before they were popular, but at least i'm not a mindless follower. some of the things i do are unpopular, and people would laugh at me for them (playing final fantasy, reading manga, listening to electro (not techno).) i'm me at the end of the day. i'm not trying to look like mikey or chuck, and i hate it when people accuse me of that.

enough about me. why do so many people talk about themselves on an individual basis when there's really nothing individual about them? how can they do this if they're accepting roles they're assigned or feed into, whether consciously or unconsciously? you're a girl, and you got a new dress along with your friends who got similar dresses from the same store in the same color. you all gather in front of a mirror like you've been doing since your myspace days and take pictures with a caption like "divas" or some other wack shit. you all are so bad. you go to a club, and you swear to God like every other group of girls there that you all are the baddest. what warrants every girl doing the same dumb pose in every picture thinking that she's a diva or model? because you say so yourself or because your like-minded friends say so? you're a guy, and you and all your niggas have on the same shoes, variations of the same coat, etc..(this example applies mainly to dudes at gogos). you swear you're the freshest dude in there. how's that possible when you have on the same shit as your man? your swag is like no other because you say so, right? that's up for you to determine, right? give me a break. this topic frustrates me so much, i don't even want to write on it anymore..

It's 3:30 am, and i'm watching Reservoir Dogs with my dad. i'm done with finals, and i'm on break. no complaints thus far. my dad has fios internet, and it's fast as shit. i've just downloaded reservoir dogs and pulp fiction within 30 minutes, and i'm about to download blow and the entire star wars saga because i have shit tons of space on my macbook still. while i do that, maybe i should import my dad's bob marley discography or pro tools? i missed fast internet seeing as how internet at au sucks, and i plan to take full advantage of this sorcery called fios. i have no purpose in writing this entry to be honest, but i can and am, and that's that. i'm also ordering a new dgk board with eazy e on it, so i'll finally have a skateboard at school..phase one of my plot to take over the world complete.....

i'm talking nonsense (.....), goodnight.

RIP Xuan

i love you, and so does everyone else who knows you...you were one of the most beautiful people i've ever met. you don't even know..it's so unfair that this happened to you of all people. i remember it like it was yesterday...you came to visit me cuz we hadn't chilled in a while, and we caught up while i studied for a test. you were eating your chipotle, then you laughed at how messy my room was and folded my clothes. i didn't think when i hugged you it'd be the last time...it's too fucked up to be real, and i hope i wake up at some point...all those times you were online and we didn't im each other weigh so much on my conscience now..i wish each time i could tell you how wonderful you were. i should have called you every time i thought about it. we were talkin about how we hadn't talked in a while and how we had to chill again, and now i'll never see you again..i don't even know if it's hit me as hard as it will because i'm still in shock..all the things that seemed so important to me yesterday don't mean shit...my biggest worry was my shoes arriving, and all the while, you were living your last moments..i can't even wrap my head around it yet..but i love you, we all do, and i'll miss you until the day i die..what a loss for the world. this isn't even right. you're tattooed on my heart and my mind forever, and i'll NEVER forget you. you were such a hard worker and so focused...you were pretty and smart, and you were going the right direction in life...you didn't even get to do all the things you wanted...that's why, while i still have time, i'll live for me and you. 

RIP Xuan Lai 1/19/90-12/9/08

Police Identify Teen Girl Killed in Six-Car Crash

VIEWING: FRIDAY DEC.
12TH @ 6PM
10 East Deer Park Dr
Gaithersburg MD,20877

FUNERAL: SATURDAY DEC.
13TH @ 10AM
11401 Brink Rd
Germantown, MD 20876

Starting '09 Early

so it's one twenty-six on a tuesday morning. i am typing this as i eat macaroni and cheese given to me by my friend nicole across the hall. i have a final in ten hours. i took an accounting final and an arabic final earlier today that i was, and also twenty-four hours ago, i ordered these shoes. no matter how shitty exams are, i win.  i've not been getting much sleep latey because of staying up cramming or staying up for staying up's sake. I'm about to start taking notes for my itec class, but i'm so dead tired, i'm not sure i can even stay awake. 

i've decided that's it's 2009 for me now because i feel like it, so i'm deleting some older posts, and depending on how it all reads collectively, i might just make this the first entry or something. the first half of my soph yr is over, plus a lot of things are coming to a close or starting new for me, so i'm ff a little.. i didn't write much yet anyway, plus i'd like to refocus the blog.

Nike Blazer Mid SB Elite: Lance Mountain x Craig Stecyk. this is the second Nike SB x Mountain x Stecyk collabo blazer--the first being the orange pair. these are elites though, meaning they're made of premium materials and shit..real leather, not patent, suede, and a red quilt inside. they're really simple, but they look hard.

i know everyone's probably heard at least some of it already, but 808s and Heartbreak is a good album. people avoid it because they hear it's autotune, but it's worth listening to. if you know the concept behind it, it's easier to appreciate. it was based off kanye learning that autotune is a very effective tool for communicating emotion, and kanye combined that with new ideas to make something respectable outside the realm of hip-hop. kanye also said that people knocking ideas suppresses other people's creativity, especially if it's something the other person likes or really wants to do. decide for yourselves whether you like it or not, don't take other people's word for it or judge it because it might not sound like what you're used to.

speaking of music, i've been downloading a lot lately. three 6 mafia, ugk, justice, boys noize, etc...to name a few..i'm really liking the justice album..anyone that likes electronic or just wants to listen to something new should check it out..it's called cross.